witticisms by Jess Witty

July 21, 2009

She who swore she'd never have a blog...

that she is me. And yet, here I am. First things first. Random facts. Just because I like 'em. And because this is my blog, so I can if I wanna. (I'm starting to see that having your own blog is a bit like being the ruler of your own personal universe, isn't it? Huh. Who knew?)

  • Previous jobs include roller-skating carhop, basket maker, cake decorator, script writer, etc. And let me just say that carhopping is far underrated, my friends... $20 an hour when you're in high school is like swimming in a giant pot of gold. The script writer (and to be clear, that is far overstating my actual responsibilities in that job, but it's a pretty difficult job to just sum up, so writer is the easiest way to put it) fact is important to you because it affects what your're reading right now... at this very moment. What's great about script writing is that you need to write how people actually speak, which is not necessarily grammatically correct. So, I am embracing that ideal for blogging. I think it's brilliant because I love incomplete sentences. A lot. However, I cannot spell. At all. So, I use google as my own personal dictionary. In fact, I have already googled decorator, underrated, and affects even while writing this post.
  • 4 out of the 5 people in my immediate family share birthdays. As in, my husband and I have 3 kids - kid #1 (Eli) and kid #3 (Noelle) share a birthday. I share my birthday with kid #2 (Zeke). And no, none of that sharing was planned. (Puhlease... like I would choose to share my birthday... ha! Although, now that it is what it is, I look forward to many sports/video game/Star Wars themed birthday parties.)
  • To be honest, my favorite hobby is not paper crafting. Or I should say, it's not my only favorite hobby. Ah, how do I love junking? Let me count the ways. Junking would be the red-headed stepchild of antiquing. I cannot afford antiquing, therefore I junk. Junking is a bit harder to do now that I have the 3 previously-mentioned (birthday-stealing) children. The same children that like to creatively "rearrange" all the items in my home. There is no space that is safe. Nor a space that is out of reach due to the dare devil nature that has been imparted to them by someone other than me. So, all that means that I don't get to go junking as often as I would like. And that breeds this whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" issue.
  • I am technically challenged. I did not own an ipod until a few weeks ago and I can assure you that I have not figured it out yet. I can Tivo, but that's about the limit of my techy-ness. Chalk any blogging errors up to this fact.
  • My style is lazy clean and simple. Not to say that clean and simple is easy. It's just that generally, when I try to add more patterned paper and more images and more embellishments and more, more, more, my hands literally rebel against me. I find myself adding, adding, adding, then removing, removing, removing. I so envy all of you who can add just the right embellishments and layers and lots of them. And then some more. Layers scare me. So do embellishments. Except ribbon. Ribbon loves me.
  • Yeah... I'm wordy. Verbose. Long-winded. But you already knew that, didn't you? I know some of you just want to get straight to the project pictures. So feel free to skip all the words. I won't be offended. I mean, I would be offended, but I'll never know, will I? It's a win-win, my friend.
  • This is my new gig! Yeaaaaah... trust me, I was surprised, too. And thrilled. Dream-come-true kind of thrilled. Cool, huh?
    • So, to celebrate the "birthday" of my new gig and my new blog, I'm going to go with a little birthday card for today's project...

      I tell ya, I thought I was downright *brilliant* when I realized the glassine bags were the perfect size for a regular A2 card. I could do a little matching glassine bag envelope for every darn card I ever make, I like it that much! And you could totally just do a simple closure for the envelope instead of the button wrap do-dad, although I rather like the do-dad. The candle stickers come all lined up just like that so I just folded the backing sheet back a bit, the pressed the bottom of the stickers onto the cardstock, then gently peeled the backing away while I kept pushing the stickers down. Wa-la... all lined up and evenly spaced! I strung the buttons along the twine for a bit of a different look.

      All righty, kids... that's all she (me) wrote for today! Thanks for stopping by for my inaugural post!*

      * Yup. Just googled "inaugural." But who can blame me? That word is seriously hard to spell.

      Eat Cake card

      Candles & Cake Frost the Cake Pattern Paper by Art Warehouse Candles & Cake Epoxy Stickers by Art Warehouse Candles & Cake Cardstock Stickers by Art Warehouse Tiny Brown Ledger Alpha Stickers by Making Memories Solid Color Baker's Twine by Martha Stewart Crafts Gusseted Glassine Favor Bags * everything is from emma's paperie

      28 comments:

      Sharon Harnist said...

      I see you figured out the whole blogging thing, my friend ... it looks great great (of course)! Many congrats on your new ventures, Go-To Girl! So happy for you!

      Marla said...

      I read the text and looked at the pictures and absolutely loved both! Thanks for sharing how you got those awesome candles in such a straight line. Congrats on launching your new blog! Will look back for more.

      broni (waterchild12) said...

      Yay! A huge congratulations, Jessica! I'm so happy that you now have a blog! It's addicting, I tell ya! Your birthday card is adorable....love how you threaded the buttons!

      Jenn said...

      AHHHHHH!!!! Jess, I'm so seriously jumping up and down for you! HUGE congrats, sweetie! (and I love the blog!)

      Bookworm said...

      Hi! Jumped here from the Go To Gal announcement post and from here I'm going to add you to Google Reader. I looooooooooooove the clean and simple (and fun and elegant) style -- I have the feeling I will be wanting to see everything you make! Best wishes!

      Laura

      k a r i s a said...

      hey jess! i added you to my google reader and can't wait to keep up with all your happenings and projects!! cute idea with the glassine envelopes!!

      Bev said...

      At long last, it's here ... I can say it 'out loud'! Congratulations, Jessica!
      I'm incredibly tickled for you in your new role as a Go-to-Gal with PC ... and your new blog as well.

      (((hugs)))
      Proud Mom

      susan opel said...

      WAY excited to work with you more! And witticisims is a brilliant title.

      And for the record, I read every word of this post. And I think birthday-stealing children are funny. And I love incomplete sentences. When they appear in the right place. And maybe I need a new job as a car hop? I wanna swim in a pot of gold. ;)"

      Joan Ervin said...

      Ooooh, Jess, I love your new blog...you did an awesome job and again, congrats on your new position as a Go-to-Gal..Whoohoo!!!

      Julie Masse said...

      Fun blog!! I'll be back for more. . . congrats on your new "job!!" :)

      ~Lori (loree2000 SCS) said...

      I'm glad I'm not the only one who uses Google as a dictionary! lol

      Congrats on the PC gig...now you'll have to update your resume! :)

      Julia said...

      YEAH!!

      Count me in as one very Happy person who is so glad you are blogging!

      Anabelle said...

      Yay!!! You're finally in blog land! I'm so excited. I love your posts. BIG HUGE GIGANTIC congrats, Go To Girl! You KNOW how thrilled I am for you. Thanks for the shout out, by the way, on the blog. I'm honored, my friend. (6 more days!!!)

      Daniela said...

      You are too funny! Congrats on the new blog, that I love, and the new PC gig!!!
      I use google dictionary ALL the time!

      apigonfire said...

      yea!!! you have a blog! I kept looking at all of your posts on SCS and wanting to hear the blah, blah that goes with!
      I love your blah, blah! I too read all the way through it. Cracked me up!
      Congrats on your new endeavors! Can't wait to see what you have in store for us, Go-To Gal!
      ~Kendra

      Donna Baker said...

      yea! I'm so glad you got blog!! Congratulations to you being Paper Crafts go-to gal! thanks for your sweet comment on my SCS gallery the other day! remember we met in N. Texas about 3 1/2 years ago??

      travelingmama said...

      So glad to meet you and find your blog! Best wishes on your new adventure! Hugs from Morocco!

      Maren said...

      :) So happy to be working with you and your wit! :)

      ny2tx_patti said...

      Jess, Congrats on your new blog and on your new role over at Paper Crafts! I'm excited for you!!

      Kate's Life said...

      You are Hilarious!!!
      Congrats on the new gig and the blog- will definatly be following!

      Tami Mayberry said...

      You are just filled with awesomeness in many ways ;) Congrats on the new gig and the blog!

      jen said...

      I love your blog- verbose is perfect, when it's entertaining. And it is! :) Fun card- and HUGE congrats on GTG status!

      Betsy V said...

      Congrats on the new blog and the PC gig!! So excited to work with you!! :-)

      Linda Beeson said...

      Jessica - that envelope is just plain CUTE! Yes, I like the card, but LOVE that envelope! LOVING your blog, girlfriend!

      Gina said...

      Just found your blog from the Paper Crafts blog and seriously, I think I love you! :) Clean, simple..."lazy"...whatever you want to call it, I love it! ;) I have four little kids (6.5 down to 17 months) so I'm all for clean and simple! :) I google words all the time for spelling *and* definition. I love writing the way I talk, which is why I use ellipses like crazy...oh, look! a bunny... And I almost peed when you talked about your "birthday stealing" children! :) Too funny! Congratulations on your new gig! Look forward to seeing you in my Google Reader. : )

      Kathleen said...

      I can't wait to see what you have to offer here---congrats on being a Go To Gal! :)

      MariLynn said...

      Congrats on being a go to girl and congrats on your blog. Way to try something new.

      Bethany Paull said...

      That's so funny. I use dictionary dot com and just looked up inaugural today! It's been a blast getting to know you a bit. I love the threading of your buttons on that twine. Quite cool.